One year after Ryan “JJ” Godbey disappeared, their mother still wakes up each day hoping for the same thing.
Not a court hearing.
Not another arrest.
Not even another headline.
She hopes someone will finally tell the truth so she can bring all of her child home.
While portions of Ryan’s remains were recovered last summer, not all of them have been found. For Jackie Godbey, that painful reality has turned the past year into a cycle of grief, unanswered questions and a search that continues long after public attention has faded.
“I just want my child home,” Jackie said. “I want all of my child home.”
Ryan, 26, was last seen June 19, 2025, after leaving Darlin’s CREW in Canton, where they were a familiar and beloved performer in the local drag community under the stage name “JJ.”
When Ryan stopped responding to messages and failed to return home, family members reported them missing. What began as a missing person investigation eventually became a homicide case.
Weeks later, investigators located partial human remains that were later identified as Ryan.
But only part of the mystery was solved.
Nearly a year later, Jackie says knowing that some of Ryan’s remains are still missing has made it impossible to find closure.
“It’s hard because they’re still not completely home,” she said. “As a mother, that’s what I think about every day.”
The search for answers appeared to take a significant step forward late last year when Daniel Mattay, the Stark County man accused of killing Ryan, was preparing to change his plea in the case.
Jackie hoped the agreement would finally reveal where the rest of Ryan’s remains could be found.
Instead, Mattay died by suicide inside the Stark County Jail in December before the case could move forward.
The development abruptly ended the criminal prosecution and, Jackie fears, may have taken crucial information with it.
“When he took that plea, I thought maybe we’d finally know where Ryan was,” she said. “I thought maybe we’d finally be able to bring them home.”
Instead, she found herself facing another devastating setback.
The uncertainty has left Jackie in what she describes as a constant state of limbo.
Part of her child has been recovered.
Part of her child remains missing.
And many of the answers she has spent the past year searching for remain out of reach.
“You don’t know how to move forward,” she said. “You just keep waiting and hoping.”
Jackie vividly remembers the day investigators informed her that Ryan’s remains had been identified.
“There are no words,” she said. “I couldn’t breathe. I don’t think anybody can prepare you for hearing something like that.”
Yet even in that moment of heartbreak, there was still another painful reality to face: Ryan had not been fully found.
For Jackie, that distinction matters.
Every holiday, birthday and family gathering serves as a reminder that her child is still not completely home.
As the one-year anniversary arrives, she says she continues to pray not only for answers, but for honesty from anyone who may know more about what happened.
“I pray every day for the truth,” she said. “Somebody knows something.”
Throughout the ordeal, Jackie says support from the community has helped sustain her family.
Thousands of people shared Ryan’s photo online. Volunteers searched. Signs bearing Ryan’s face appeared throughout Stark County and beyond.
Many remain displayed today.
“It means so much,” Jackie said. “People have not forgotten Ryan. They continue to care, and that helps.”
Still, she hopes renewed attention on the anniversary will remind people that the case remains unfinished.
The murder investigation may have identified a suspect.
The criminal case may have ended.
But a mother’s search continues.
Asked how she has survived the past year, Jackie points to her faith and her children.
“My faith keeps me going,” she said. “And my children. That’s what gives me strength.”
One year after Ryan disappeared, Jackie remains committed to finding whatever answers still exist.
Most of all, she remains committed to bringing her child home.
All of her child.
Until that day comes, she says she will keep searching, keep speaking Ryan’s name and keep asking for the truth.
“A mother’s love never stops,” Jackie said. “And I’m not giving up.”
